Whilst on twitter the other night, I joined in a conversation with some lovely ladies, they were using the hashtag #givemumsabreak. There are days when I really wish this was possible although it isn't just mums, there are dads out there that have a tough time and deserve a break too.
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love being a mum, I think I was put on this earth for the purpose of being a mum and if I could have more kids I would, having the opportunity to stay at home and enjoy watching them grow up is something I am very grateful for. However I do feel that I need a break sometimes, just some of the illusive "me time". It wasn't until I had to a challenge with my BabyBag that I realised just how little time I get to myself.
Others will say, "well you chose to be a parent", yes they are right I did but I am only human, I get tired sometimes and I get ill on occasion, contrary to popular belief we mums and dads are unfortunately not super heroes.
People who go out and work get weekends off, annual leave etc, they get time to sit down and relax, parents on the other hand don't get this luxury, being a parent is a full time job in itself and I don't think others understand how hard it can be until they become a parent themselves. The job as parent is never done, even when the kids are in bed, if you are anything like me, you are on high alert incase one gets poorly in the night.
Since becoming a mum, I have felt rather lonely and isolated at times. I've lost touch with friends along the way as whilst I was at home with my kids, they were still out clubbing etc. I feel like I have lost my identity somewhat. Yes I am a mummy but I think some people forget that I am more than that, I am mummy to my kids but to others I should be Chantelle, it would be nice to have the chance to maybe find myself again.
Recently Daddy Hazelden started a new job and this has meant him staying away from home a few nights a week. I have to applaud single parents as I didn't realise just how much not having him there would affect things. Not having him there to back me up when the kids misbehave and the luxury of having an adult conversation, it has a been hard adjusting to the change.
This is where I am glad that I blog and that I chat with others on both Facebook and Twitter because I think without these people, I may have gone slowly insane, nice to know there others that understand how you feel and not judging you for wanted to hide away sometimes.
So what do you think, should we be given a break?? Do you as a parent manage to balance things so that you get a bit of "me time"? x
xxxx
Totally agree with you there, I found it hard from going from being me losing my identity to so and so's mom. Every mom needs a break I think its good for children and parents. Every time I can get a chance I do now :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you for commenting, nice to now others feel the same!! xx
DeleteOh my goodness i could have written this myself! I crave a hot (not lukewarm) drink, daydream about weeing in private (without an army of tiny humans demanding to observe), and long for a sit down in front of the news (without being beaten around the head with the remote whilst chanting 'cbeebies'). Ive had one good piece of advice that suprisingly works - when youre at the end of your tether and considering locking yourself on the other side of the stairgate - do the opposite, get down on your hands and knees and play cars, dress up and pretend your a princess, set up an obsticle course with pots and pans...and play solidly for as long as you can, it really really works, i feel refreshed and ready for my cold cuppa again afterwards and all thoughts of me time are forgotten!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for that piece of advice, I shall give it a go!! xx
DeleteOh my goodness i could have written this myself! I crave a hot (not lukewarm) drink, daydream about weeing in private (without an army of tiny humans demanding to observe), and long for a sit down in front of the news (without being beaten around the head with the remote whilst chanting 'cbeebies'). Ive had one good piece of advice that suprisingly works - when youre at the end of your tether and considering locking yourself on the other side of the stairgate - do the opposite, get down on your hands and knees and play cars, dress up and pretend your a princess, set up an obsticle course with pots and pans...and play solidly for as long as you can, it really really works, i feel refreshed and ready for my cold cuppa again afterwards and all thoughts of me time are forgotten!
ReplyDeleteIn am lucky that I have mornings during week or I'd go mental! Every so often have to ask my parents to have kids for a night off or a day out on my own...
ReplyDeleteIt is mentally draining sometimes!! x
DeleteYou sound like me! I do empathise. I am going away for three days soon with my best friend, the first time in five years. Soooo looking forward to it!
ReplyDeleteLouisa @ My Family & Abruzzo
Have fun!!! x
DeleteIt is a relentless job isn't it. I do my best to make sure I do get time away be it a quick shopping trip or a day when the kids go to childminder even if I'm not at work.
ReplyDeleteGood for you, everyone needs time to chill out every once in a while x
DeleteOf course we should get a break. My husband will often take the children out for a walk or a bike ride so I get a couple of hours to myself, and I try to do the same for him too. I think you just have to make a real effort to relax when you do get a chance - and not use that time tidying up or doing the washing!
ReplyDeleteI think that is half the trouble, I always find something that needs doing!! x
DeleteAh yes, all so true, most especially when you are living in the land of "littles".
ReplyDeleteMy kids are big now, 18 and 15, and so I am more able to have the much needed me time that was so hard to come by when they were toddlers. You most definitely need a break! You need some time to refuel so that you can be the best mama you can be. When your tank is completely on empty, you are no good to anybody! Maybe you can swap time with another mama of littles? I used to do that some. Then, maybe you can at least go to the grocery store alone for an hour! LOL!
Take it from a mama of older kids, you will make it through! It does get easier! It is hard to see that when you are in the middle of a day where someone blew out their diaper for the third time and someone else is calling your name every three seconds and you can't even go to the bathroom alone, but it is a season that will soon be through and you will be okay. Hang in there, mama! Visiting from Friendly Friday!
~Joell from Red Van Ramblings
Thanks for sharing, my break is 1 hour a week I go running :)
DeletePopping over from #pocolo I'm lucky that I get a break from my two one day a week when they go to nursery and for a few hours when they visit their grandparents but it is so hard sometimes. Spending the whole day talking to small people can be very draining and I find myself staying up late when I should probably go to bed just to get a bit of adult conversation, be it with my husband or via twitter.At least once you've got the kids in bed you won't have to argue over the tv remote :) my husband doesn't get in till about 8 and I do enjy the hour or so where I have total control over the channel ;)
ReplyDeleteLol I tend to read books as I never seem to get control of the remote x
DeleteI now only get a break as i pay for private nursery a few hours a week... thank goodness those hours are precious!
ReplyDeleteThanks for linking up with #PoCoLo x
Thanks for hosting hun, I've got 2 years before I have child free hours, it will be strange getting used to that x
DeleteAmen sistah, AMEN. :)
ReplyDeleteWhen my oldest was a baby, I didn't give myself enough me time at all, and I wasn't a better mother for it. Now, thanks to a very supportive hubby and a full understanding of how important me time is, I do make time for myself and it shows. I'm more patient and much happier when my *me time tank* is full. Carve some out for yourself STAT. :)
lol I will try x
DeleteI do get a break, and always have. But guess it's just how life has always been as I had my first son when I was 18. My mom looked after him so that I could continue my education. My husband looks after the boys so I can go out for drinks with the girls or to blogging conferences. We appreciate that you have to get a happy balance or it will all go wrong. Saying that I know that sometimes I can't have a break and have to put my family first - even if that means I don't get to meet my basic needs. Great post.
ReplyDeleteSee I think I made a rod for my own back, I had my eldest when I was 19 but I have always done everything, hubby goes to work therefore I do things at home, old habits die hard as they say x
DeleteThis rings true here too, I've often blogged about guilt and motherhood, that feeling of putting yourself not just last but bottom of the pile and winding up exhausted, I've learned to slowly accept help but it's not easy to ask for it either! x
ReplyDelete